Nigeria and the comedy of aircraft manufacturing dreams, By Mohammed Dahiru Aminu

In the long run, Keyamo’s plane manufacturing dream is unlikely to quantity to greater than a punchline. However maybe that’s the actual tragedy of Nigeria as a nation with a lot promise diminished to laughing at its personal absurdity. As Nigerians, we deserve higher than empty rhetoric and grandiose fantasies. We deserve leaders who’re grounded in actuality and dedicated to constructing a rustic that works for its folks. Till then, we’ll preserve laughing, as a result of generally, that’s all you are able to do.

After I stumbled throughout the headline that Nigeria plans to begin manufacturing plane, my first intuition was to examine the date. Certainly, I assumed, April Idiot’s Day had been sneakily rescheduled to January. However no, there was Minister Festus Keyamo, a person of lofty ambitions, grinning alongside this daring declaration. Nigeria manufacturing plane? It’s like asserting plans to colonise Mars whereas your roof leaks throughout the wet season.

The aviation minister’s ambition will need to have been brewed in a secret lab, blended with a heavy dose of inventive storytelling. In spite of everything, the place else might such a masterstroke of creativeness originate from? We’re speaking a few nation wherein the mere sight of steady electrical energy is sufficient to make the typical citizen weep tears of pleasure. And now, we’re imagined to consider we’re gearing as much as construct airplanes? As in, these huge flying machines that defy gravity and physics? If I weren’t laughing so exhausting, I’d nearly be impressed.

This isn’t our first rodeo with aviation pipe desires. Bear in mind Hadi Sirika, Keyamo’s predecessor, who swore up and down that Air Nigeria, a proudly Nigerian airline, was simply across the nook? Billboards have been erected, logos have been unveiled, and public funds have been mysteriously deployed to… nicely, we’re nonetheless attempting to determine that half out. However ultimately, all we acquired have been fancy posters and a photoshop particular of a aircraft that by no means left the runway.

Now, Keyamo appears decided to outdo Sirika within the Ministry of Aviation’s long-standing custom of delusions. Why intention for an airline, when you’ll be able to intention for the skies, actually? It’s nearly poetic that one administration guarantees an airline, fails spectacularly at it, and the subsequent raises the stakes to manufacturing plane. It’s like shedding a bicycle race and deciding your subsequent problem will probably be to contest in Formulation 1.

Allow us to take a second to unpack the sheer absurdity of this announcement. That is Nigeria, the place potholes routinely swallow whole vehicles, and visitors lights are extra ornamental than practical. That is Nigeria, the place the ability provide sparkles so unpredictably that even our mills want backup mills. And but, we’re imagined to consider that our authorities is able to deal with the intricate engineering and precision required to fabricate airplanes?

If there may be one factor successive Nigerian administrations have mastered, it’s the artwork of distraction. When issues get robust, throw out a grandiose concept to maintain the plenty entertained. Earlier governments have promised every little thing from bullet trains to uninterrupted energy provide. None of it ever materialised, after all, but it surely did make for nice headlines and energetic debates in beer parlours. Keyamo’s plane manufacturing dream suits neatly into this custom.

Maybe these planes will probably be powered by our ever-reliable “I-better-pass-my-neighbour” mills, with kerosene because the backup gas. Think about a Made-in-Nigeria plane. “Horn earlier than takeoff” stickers plastered on the perimeters, and “God is in management” boldly painted on the tailfin. As an alternative of in-flight leisure, passengers is likely to be handed hymnbooks and requested to hitch a prayer circle. In spite of everything, there is no such thing as a Wi-Fi at 30,000 ft when your aircraft’s avionics are powered by rechargeable lanterns.

Keyamo’s announcement might need been hilarious if it weren’t so indicative of a deeper drawback. Why can we at all times intention for the celebs when now we have barely discovered the best way to tie our shoelaces? We’re a rustic the place fixing primary infrastructure is an Olympic-level problem. The roads resemble impediment programs, the healthcare system’s finest function is its departure lounge for medical tourism, and our schooling sector’s crowning achievement is its export of annoyed, underpaid professors. In the meantime, our nationwide ambition is to dethrone Boeing and Airbus? It’s like attempting to construct a skyscraper whereas the inspiration is made from sand. The spoiler alert is that it isn’t going to finish nicely.

If there may be one factor successive Nigerian administrations have mastered, it’s the artwork of distraction. When issues get robust, throw out a grandiose concept to maintain the plenty entertained. Earlier governments have promised every little thing from bullet trains to uninterrupted energy provide. None of it ever materialised, after all, but it surely did make for nice headlines and energetic debates in beer parlours. Keyamo’s plane manufacturing dream suits neatly into this custom. It’s a new season of the identical previous sitcom, with the Nigerian populace because the unwitting snigger monitor. And identical to each different time, the plot twist is inevitable. Nothing will come of it, however by the point that turns into apparent, we will probably be distracted by the subsequent shiny promise.

Maybe the saddest a part of this complete spectacle is that it highlights simply how a lot now we have normalised mediocrity and deception. In a practical society, a minister making such an outlandish declare would face speedy scrutiny. Consultants would demand feasibility research, journalists would dig into the logistics, and the general public would maintain leaders accountable.

If Keyamo really needs to revolutionise Nigeria’s aviation sector, he would possibly begin by addressing the fundamentals. Repair the airports that at the moment operate extra like glorified bus stops. Spend money on aviation colleges to coach the subsequent era of pilots and engineers. Develop a upkeep tradition, in order that our planes cease falling aside mid-flight. In brief, stroll earlier than you attempt to fly.

However in Nigeria, the response is a collective shrug, adopted maybe by a spherical of jokes on the social media. We’ve grown so accustomed to empty guarantees that we not anticipate anything. Our nationwide coping mechanism is to snigger to maintain from crying. In spite of everything, what else are you able to do when your leaders insist on chasing fantasies whereas the fundamentals stay out of attain?

In fact, it isn’t totally unattainable for Nigeria to fabricate plane sometime. We’ve good engineers, resourceful entrepreneurs, and a wealth of untapped potential. However potential alone doesn’t construct airplanes. It takes imaginative and prescient, planning, funding, and most significantly, a authorities that prioritises substance over showmanship.

If Keyamo really needs to revolutionise Nigeria’s aviation sector, he would possibly begin by addressing the fundamentals. Repair the airports that at the moment operate extra like glorified bus stops. Spend money on aviation colleges to coach the subsequent era of pilots and engineers. Develop a upkeep tradition, in order that our planes cease falling aside mid-flight. In brief, stroll earlier than you attempt to fly.

In the long run, Keyamo’s plane manufacturing dream is unlikely to quantity to greater than a punchline. However maybe that’s the actual tragedy of Nigeria as a nation with a lot promise diminished to laughing at its personal absurdity. As Nigerians, we deserve higher than empty rhetoric and grandiose fantasies. We deserve leaders who’re grounded in actuality and dedicated to constructing a rustic that works for its folks. Till then, we’ll preserve laughing, as a result of generally, that’s all you are able to do. So, right here is to the Made-in-Nigeria planes of the long run. Could they fly as excessive as our hopes… and land as softly as our dashed expectations.